Friday, January 20, 2006

Happy Birthday To KISS's Paul Stanley

Happy 54th birthday (yikes!) to the BEST frontman/rhythm guitarist ever. The Starchild rocks more at 54 than most people do in one lifetime.

Rock on, Paul!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Jesus WAS A Liberal!

Thanks to Che, on BlameBush! for the enlightenment.

Of course Jesus was a lybyryl!

His mother had never lain with a man.

His stepfather mounted an ass right before his birth.

He received government subsidies from the three kings from the moment he was born.

He avoided military service.

Recent documents suggest that, while working in construction, he helped found the Local Carpenter's Union after his L&I claims were refused on the grounds that he could just lay hands on himself and be healed.(Side note: The fact that Jesus worked in construction does not mean he would have driven an SUV or pickup. A sheet of 5/8" sheetrock can be carried quite comfortable on top of a Prius at slow speeds. Contractors are expected to be late, anyway.)

He was black like the Clintons.

He was Jewish (But not a Zionist, mind you.) like Babs.

The Jooooos conspired against Him, just like Al Sharpton.

When His friends got the munchies, He was able to turn bread and fish into nachos.

He protected wildlife and healed the leopards, just like Al Gore.

Like Ted Kennedy, He was pulled off amazing feats to avoid drowning.

He made the crippled walk, just like John Kerry.

And Liberals Want To Talk This Out?

Yeah, these murdering savages will be happy to sit down and talk their troubles out over some tofu and mineral water, I'm sure.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Tequilla Ted Kennedy And Sam Alito

This is, without a doubt, the best Ted Kennedy description in the history of Ted Kennedy descriptions:

"Quite frankly I was surprised that Alito even showed up for the hearings. Far tougher men and a great deal of women have turned and fled from Ted Kennedy, and wisely so. When a supreme court nominee or Bush cabinet pick first becomes the target of his relentless barrage of well-aimed stutters and stammers, they may believe Kennedy is nothing more than a fat, belligerent drunk. After an hour of questioning, they’re certain of it. It isn’t until they get home and read the New York Times that they learn they’ve been bested by the most brilliant statesman in American history."

(Written by Liberal Larry at Blame Bush!)

Truer words were never spoken, er, written.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Rev. Lusk, part deaux

This crazy is still not representative of my beliefs.

I believe Christians don't have to "like" everyone, but we should try to get along with everyone. Heck, there's tons of people I don't like, and there's millions more who think I have the social status of a scratched bootleg Milli Vanilli record.

The point is, it's frustrating when some groups, as wacky as they are, seem to get all the press while the good guys are relegated to word-of-mouth. Kinda like the talent level of Green Day versus Porcupine Tree.

But when someone, who shall remain nameless, tries to lump me in with the crazy crowd, them's fightin' words.

Metaphorical fighting words, of course...

I Don't Normally Do Requests...

After all, I ain't a DJ, and I sure as heck ain't Casey Kasem.

But this one's for JClifford, of Irregular Times fame:

I am posting to make it clear that I do NOT stand with Reverend Lusk?, who advocates killing people who don't believes:

“I want to say, first of all, be careful how you fool with the church. You mess around with the church, something stirs up inside of me! You be careful because the church has surviving power. My friends, you know this and know this well. Don’t fool with the church because the church has buried many a critic, and all the critics that we have not buried, we’re making funeral arrangements for them!”
(taken from Irregular Times without even so much as a nod of permission)

Geez, I can't believe I have to separate myself from this moron. (Lusk, not JClifford.)

Happy, JClifford???

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Poor Tookie!

Not really.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Barbara StreisanD (thanks, Irish!) To Cancel Her LA Times Subscription; Millions Fear The End Of The World

So Barbara "My Friggin' Nose Is Visible From The Moon" Streisand is cancelling her subscription to the LA Times. (I read this story in the Houston Chronicle and couldn't find a link on their website. So I did search for "Streisand" and "LA Times" for more information. Her website was the first to come up.)

Evidently, Babs is ticked 'cause the LA TIMES ain't liberal enough for her anymore, and the incident she took time out of her busy schedule to complain about was the proverbial last straw. Boo hoo.

The update on the same page shows how the paper condensed her original editorial. This angered the Mighty Barbara, 'cause she's a CELEBRITY ACTIVIST, and her opinions MUST be heard by everyone, evidently. She is incensed they dare censor her comments. (She obviously didn't read the fine print of any editorial section that states the staff can trim the content at their discretion.)

However, the LA Times is considering not ordering donuts for a week each year now that they will be out the $300 or so per year that came from her subscription.

Global Warming... Brrrrrrr!

Snow in Houston last year on Christmas Eve.

Temperatures not above 39 degrees Farenheit for 3 days in a row in southeast Texas.

Global Warming is a scary, scary thing, kids!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Osama: Terrorist, but Environmentally Conscious

Congratulations all you Enviro-Wackos! You now have a new ally in the fight to save Mother Earth!

Osama Bin Laden, that misunderstood "freedom fighter," supports your cause. And, he is demanding the U.S. sign your Magna Carta- the Kyoto Protocol!

Glory be! Praise Gaia!

Click here to read about the newest ally in the fight against global warming, er, climate change, er...

KISS, The Official Authorized Magazine, Subscribe Now!
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