Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Poor Tookie!

Not really.

Friday, December 09, 2005

Barbara StreisanD (thanks, Irish!) To Cancel Her LA Times Subscription; Millions Fear The End Of The World

So Barbara "My Friggin' Nose Is Visible From The Moon" Streisand is cancelling her subscription to the LA Times. (I read this story in the Houston Chronicle and couldn't find a link on their website. So I did search for "Streisand" and "LA Times" for more information. Her website was the first to come up.)

Evidently, Babs is ticked 'cause the LA TIMES ain't liberal enough for her anymore, and the incident she took time out of her busy schedule to complain about was the proverbial last straw. Boo hoo.

The update on the same page shows how the paper condensed her original editorial. This angered the Mighty Barbara, 'cause she's a CELEBRITY ACTIVIST, and her opinions MUST be heard by everyone, evidently. She is incensed they dare censor her comments. (She obviously didn't read the fine print of any editorial section that states the staff can trim the content at their discretion.)

However, the LA Times is considering not ordering donuts for a week each year now that they will be out the $300 or so per year that came from her subscription.

Global Warming... Brrrrrrr!

Snow in Houston last year on Christmas Eve.

Temperatures not above 39 degrees Farenheit for 3 days in a row in southeast Texas.

Global Warming is a scary, scary thing, kids!

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Osama: Terrorist, but Environmentally Conscious

Congratulations all you Enviro-Wackos! You now have a new ally in the fight to save Mother Earth!

Osama Bin Laden, that misunderstood "freedom fighter," supports your cause. And, he is demanding the U.S. sign your Magna Carta- the Kyoto Protocol!

Glory be! Praise Gaia!

Click here to read about the newest ally in the fight against global warming, er, climate change, er...

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

CHRISTmas

It's that time of year again, time for families to come together once again; time for old friends to become reacquainted; time for presents to be exchanged; time for kids to make lists of what they want Santa to bring them; and...

Time for Atheist Liberals to complain about the holiday. They love to scream that they don't want religion shoved down their throats. They claim they are offended to have to "suffer" through endless references to God and Christianity, as if the mere mention of His name causes their skin to boil and their brains to melt.

Well, they might have an argument if not for one tiny detail:

Most of this country is
Christian
. (Go to page 55 of 56 for the breakdown.)


As Arnold said in "Kindergarten Cop:" STOP WHINING!

Thursday, December 01, 2005

'Twas The Night Before (A Non-Secular Holiday)

One of my favorite blogs is Blame Bush!, a satirical website that points out, in an ever-so-clever way, the flaws in most Liberal arguments and stances.

A frequent poster, "Che," provided this morsel of Non-Secular Holiday cheer:

'Twas the night before Kwanzaa, and all through the house,
The Chimp's evil tax-cuts still made me pout.
My burkah was hung by my photo of Mao,
While Larry plead guilty to sex with a cow.
My children (Those not sucked out into a sink),
Read Cindy's new book, the only copy, I think.
My wife of ten years, how I wish I'd taught her,
To like other womyn, like Dick Cheney's daughter.
When on the TV there arose such a ruckus,
I hid under the sink and said "What the f*^% was..."

Jack Ryan's husband, named Joe Wilson-Plame,
Was giving a speech and spreading the blame.
"Val's a spy like James Bond! Now everyone knows!"
"It's all Cheney's fault, and Libby, and Rove!"
Next came the words of a ranting Al Gore,
(I only heard two, then started to snore.)

I fell into some kind of drug-induced dream,
Surrounded by the whole progressyve team.
The Senator from Boston named Jaques...? Oh, brain fart...
Not the fat drunk one... But with twelve Purple Hearts.
And there was Al Franken, and there's Michael Moore,
And there's Sweet Joe Biden, the media whore.
And Nancy Pelosi, and of course Bill and Hill.
And even Chuck Schumer and Rangel, the shill.
And most of the people from gay Hollywood,
And Christopher Reeves. Thanks to stem cells, he stood.
We all chanted our mantra. We knew it by heart.
To get rid of Bush, we must all play our part:

Bush duped us all with his fast rush to war.
It's all about oil as gas prices soar.
We didn't have intel. We had not a clue.
9/11 was fake. And I blame the Jooooos.
Pat Tillman's a moron, for so says Ted Rall.
Those big Ranger meanies want to feed him his balls.
Tomorrow Bush plans to reinstate the draft,
If you argue with us, you're a Nazi, and daft!
Only a win in '08 can free us.
A chicken in each pot, in each garage a Prius.
The Shrub stole votes in Ohio! How mean!

And we finished the chant with a shriek like Howard Dean.

I awoke to my daughter calling me "dumass".
I warned, "Have a happy today. Bush wants to make it your last."

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